For A Dreamer, Night's The Only Time Of Day a tale of yellow, sleep & friday nights

I’m not sure why late nights resonate so much with me. It’s not like I’m an insomniac or anything. Trust me, I adore sleep. I truly love it. Especially since my dreams have gotten a lot more vivid. I love them. Stepping into otherworldly fragments of my imagination, places, times and people that I may or may not know. It’s just a lovely escape sometimes. But it makes no sense that I love sleep so much, and yet I allow the early hours of the morning to steal my slumber. And then I turn up to school, looking like a corpse, eagerly anticipating an afternoon nap to continue the vicious cycle. Or, if the day allows me, I let that slumber echo into the afternoon. 12 hours sleep is my optimum. Wake up while everyone else is finishing lunch. Wasting my days, really. Although I’m still convinced life would be better if we were all nocturnal.

But I just find something so intriguing about the night. Watching the clock go from 12 to 1 to 2 to 3, and even sometimes 4. Even stupid things, like watching the amount of people on Facebook chat slowly dwindle as the night stretches onwards. It’s unhealthy. And it’s not like I’m doing anything productive, really. Mostly just listening to music, writing ramblings in a word document or fiddling with song writing. So, why not go to bed earlier ? Well, I wish it were as simple as that. But sometimes when I put my head down on my pillow at a reasonable hour, I feel very uncomfortable and restless. I feel as if I’m missing out on something. Which I’m obviously not. I mean, the most interesting things don’t exactly happen whilst everybody is tucked up in bed, and I’m wide awake, do they ?

I heard somebody once say that only the loneliest people in the world stay up late at night. That kind of scares me. I pray it isn’t true. I know it isn’t true. But just to make sure, perhaps tonight I’ll go to bed at 11 or something; first step on my path to normality.

A characteristic of a person, place, object or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure, meaning or satisfaction.

Beauty. Aren’t you a funny thing ? Misconstrued and deconstructed by a world, which so obviously does not know right between wrong. Thus, how dare we even try and put a vanity-driven label on something. Something attractive or magnificent. Oh wait, we’re humans right ? And humans are flawed ? Perhaps. Well, without a doubt yes, actually. But it will be my prayer that somehow we’ll find beauty in areas that don’t make sense. 

Beauty in the innocence behind a childhood photograph. Or being able to sleep in for that minute longer. Or wearing your most beloved sneakers. Or walking around feeling invincible. Or sleeping just to dream. Or locking eyes with somebody, who deep within the fragments of your imagination, may or may not love you. Or being able to finish that song, even if you’re not entirely sure it’s perfect. Or perhaps the most beautiful one of all;

Beauty within the lingering sensation of finding an outrageous sense of hope for the future, regardless of what the world gives you. 

Something I’ve only just begun embracing. There’s an overwhelming sense of beauty in that promise. Infinitely more beautiful than anything else we deem beauty. Thankyou God.

I’ve decided to start posting again, maybe ?

I’m not really interesting enough or dedicated enough for my own blog,

I mostly like reading and seeing what other people have to say, their own perceptions, their own reflections.

But I promise I’ll try, yet again.

~

One day I want to write an album that embodies being a teenager, in the least typical sense

I’m not talking about angst, negativity or depression, feeling excluded, dark, awkward or gangly

I’m talking about those times, where the youthful energy within makes you want to conquer the world

You literally feel like you can achieve anything, with your friends by your side, having adventures and making memories to last a lifetime

I feel like sometimes we can all be so caught in the idea of “finding ourselves” or focussing on various aspects of growing up, that we forget those simple moments

Trust me, I’m not the biggest fan of “happy” music, especially about summer or the beach, however pessimistic that sounds

But sometimes it can come off as cheesy and horrible

Despite that, I still aim to achieve this one day, write an entire album with tracks along the lines of California - Phantom Planet, Spotlight - Mutemath & Toasted Skin (Summer Song) - The Academy Is…

Bring on those lyrics about feeling invincible, laughing til you cry and Friday nights, with hints of pop punk guitar and cute piano intervals

After recently deciding on, and beginning to plan a schoolies trip with my favourite people on the planet to Bali, I hope that can inspire me enough to do so 

Life can be filled with such positive moments, sometimes we just need to take a time out and embrace it

~